


Sweeping the Dirt

by Asa_Meda



Category: NCIS
Genre: First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-03-30 10:44:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3933823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asa_Meda/pseuds/Asa_Meda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to "Settling the Dust" and the first sequel I ever wrote.  I don't know where all the elements came from but this is the result.  I want to make clear that in spite of the warning I felt I needed to say that there is No Direct Rape within this story... it is a past referenced event... no graphics.  But it's here in a form and fashion and I wanted anyone who may not want it even referenced to be forewarned.</p><p>Blurb:  Tony and Jethro are finally coming together but there is a shadow lurking in the past and a major event begins a process to reconcile the past and the present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_He kissed me. He made me cum..._

Tony watched the occasional cars pass as they sped along the interstate. The lights of the city were gradually receding into the quieter, softer lights of suburbia. Apartments became houses and townhomes. Finally there were only houses separated by a small bit of land. Even in the dark Tony recognized where he was. Once or twice he had been here, delivering papers to his supervisor. The second time he was introduced to the wooden skeleton of a boat Gibbs was building for what was rumored to be several years. It was, until tonight, the closest that Gibbs got to being personal with him. Though he had to admit that tonight definitely was the most personal anyone had really gotten to him.

_Devil's child! You're just like him! Just like him!_

Tony blinked away the suddenly flash of memory. Gibbs was pulling into the driveway. They were at Gibbs' house. Their journey from NCIS headquarters had taken about thirty minutes. His supervisor had taken his time, obeyed all the rules, silent as Tony was silent. The engine was shut off, the headlights extinguished, leaving only a couple of spot lights on the house glowing on them. DiNozzo glanced at his boss then away as he saw the penetrating eyes on him. Butterflies with razor sharp wings tore at his stomach.

"Tony, nothing has to happen." Gibbs' hand gripped Tony's loosely. "You've never done anything with a man, have you?"

Tony wanted to escape. This was not starting out well. Gibbs could find someone much better than him. Someone who didn't have to be taught. Someone untainted...

"Tony?"

He drew a deep breath, forcing himself to hold it together. It was all going downhill fast. "Gibbs... there was a guy... once... we kissed and stuff but nothing really." A smiled creased his lips. "Second time was Voss... if you count that--"

"I don't." Gibbs' hand moved to caress Tony's cheek, forcing his head around so they could look at each other. Kindness and patience. Two expressions Tony had never really seen on his supervisor's face. No, that wasn't true. He had seen it, here and there. Glimpses. Towards the wounded innocent. Towards close friends like Ducky and Abby. Even towards him when he thought Gibbs didn't think he was watching. But now Tony was watching and Gibbs was staring, his lips firm yet soft... waiting.

"I can take you home if that's what you--"

"No!" Tony didn't realize he had Gibbs' hand in a death grip until the older man grunted quietly. "Um... sorry..." He eased his hold, meaning to pull away. But Gibbs' own grip made clear he wouldn't allow it. "Jeez, this is stupid! Why the hell--" He was being a baby... an idiot... he wasn't what Gibbs needed. "I don't think I'm going to be very good at this," he admitted aloud.

Gibbs fingers were under his chin again. His blue eyes were bright with emotion. "You're a damn good kisser, DiNozzo," his lover assured. "And I wouldn't give a damn if you were a virgin." An incredible expression wandered over his face. "Are you?"

"No!" Tony wondered how far he'd have to walk to get to a gas station... call a cab. "No, I--" It was too late. Gibbs saw. _Oh shit--_

"DiNozzo."

"I've done it!" Once. Tony reached his limits. With determination he pulled away and opened the passenger door when slipped out to physically separate himself from the source of his anguish. Gibbs also got out but merely stood and watched him, concern and curiosity on his Marine hardened face. "I've kissed plenty of times!" Tony threw out, knowing how childish... how scared he sounded. He wanted to rewind the last hour and a half. He should have just realized he was being set up when Cait called. He knew he had signed off--

"Tony, come inside." Gibbs closed his door and slowly walked around the car. There was a cool breeze wafting through the air, disturbing the longer strands of hair on Gibbs' head. DiNozzo shivered. Too much was being revealed. He shouldn't have done that... with Gibbs... in the office. _Stupid! Stupid! He's going to know... going to find out!_

Again Gibbs' hand was on his face, forcing Tony to look at his supervisor. Friend? Lover? DiNozzo shook from the inside out. He wanted to kiss Gibbs. He liked kissing. He could make out with the best of them, bring a girl off without having to--

"Please come inside, Tony."

Inside. Gibbs' house. Fingertips brushed over his cheek... coaxing... enticing. Tony sighed. What was he fighting? He agreed to come here. Gibbs said nothing had to happen. And at this point, after working a long case and being woken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night, he was just too tired to give a damn. "Okay," he agreed.

Gibbs said nothing but simply put an arm around Tony and guided him into the house. From his last visit nothing had changed. Furniture was the same. The decor the same. Nothing out of place. Everything sparse and efficient with hints of Gibbs' personality, his more casual side, displayed here and there for anyone who cared to look.

"Do you want something to drink? Beer?"

Beer. Tony glanced at Gibbs. He was trying to calm down, trying to be comfortable. But he was failing miserably. "Beer's fine," he murmured.

Gibbs gave him a smile. "Sit. We're going to talk. Okay?"

Talk. The room's temperature suddenly dropped. Without thought Tony wrapped his arms around his chest. "Um... I don't know if I can do the talk thing, boss."

Gibbs gaze was calculating, far too insightful. "But you can do the beer thing?" he offered.

Tony relaxed a little. "Yeah. Beer's good. Thanks."

Gibbs nodded. "Sit, DiNozzo."

Sit. Tony sighed then tentatively sat down on the comfortable, well-kept couch. His body sang satisfaction even as his mind churned in chaotic circles. His crotch felt moist from his cum. He desperately wanted a shower... then go home... sleep... avoid Gibbs for the rest of his life so he wouldn't be tempted--

"Beer." Gibbs was back, two bottles in hand. He handed a cold one to Tony then pulled the coffee table back slightly and sat down to face Tony. For several minutes they existed in each other's presence, drinking beer. Tony felt a little better in the silence. Gibbs was making no demands, asked no questions. As he finished his beer his supervisor got up. "I think you might appreciate a shower, Tony," he offered casually. "I have some sweats you can wear, might be slightly small..."

"I think it might be a good idea if you just took me home." He had to do some heavy thinking... make decisions.

"Tony." Gibbs drew closer as if approaching a small animal. "It's late... early. I could use some sleep and so could you... on the couch. I just want to make you as comfortable as you'll let me." His lips drew inward as he continued to regard Tony. "I'm not going to try to push but I think we should talk. I'm your friend and I want to help."

Friend. Yes... friend. Lover? Was that part over? Tony squirmed as he stared at his knees. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not, Tony. I loved touching you... making you cum. I just didn't realize I was going too fast--"

"You weren't! It's me!" Tony got up and started to pace. "Look... it was great! I--" //Want more.// He ran a hand through his hair. "Gibbs... I can't."

"That's okay." Gibbs moved in front of him, his blue eyes gentle. "Take a shower. Borrow my clothes. Sleep. Tomorrow, if you want, we'll talk or I'll take you home." He drew a deep breath. "Deal?"

Tony stopped pacing and eyed the older man. Gibbs looked to be at a loss but willing to do whatever he needed to do, whatever Tony wanted. DiNozzo trusted him... trusted his word. He relaxed as he realized there would be no demands made of him, for the moment. "Thanks."

 

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A trilling sound sparked him into action. His cell was ringing. Faded dreams melted into reality as Tony sat up as he reached for his cell. Gibbs-- His eyes scanned as he remembered. He was at Gibbs' house, on his couch. A light blanket had been thrown on top of him. Gibbs was asleep upstairs. Before his cell could go off again he snatched it off the coffee table. He smiled a bit as he saw the name of the caller flash across the tiny screen and answered. "Hey, bro," he said softly. It was Bryan. His brother.

"Hey, kid," his brother responded, his voice deeper and stronger. "I'm sorry to wake you this early but I have some bad news."

Kid. Tony's smile faded. His stomach tightened. Bryan only used that nickname when he was being extra careful, extra gentle. Tina? Briana? Little Tony? Accident… no… "What's wrong?" He tried to sound neutral.

Bryan took a deep breath that ended in something close to a strained sound. "Mom passed away a few hours ago, Tony. She had a heart attack and they couldn't save her."

Couldn't save her? Passed away? Tony's heart sped up. Adrenaline. He glanced at his phone. It was four-forty in the morning. Tony's eyes fixed on the ship models Gibbs had in a glass case across the room. Some were delicately displayed in bottles. Others were carefully crafted reproductions. All took time... patience...

"Tony!"

"Uh... yeah..." Tony heard his own voice crack. His mother was dead. His mother...

"Tony, talk to me!"

Talk. Tony swallowed. "Mom's dead?"

There was an audible exhalation of air from his brother. "Yeah, bro. Mom's dead. Dad... I told him I'd call you." Pause. "Do you need me to come up there, kid? I can be there in less than two hours."

There. Home. His home. Tony looked around wildly. He wasn't home. He was--

Gibbs was suddenly standing in front of him, hands on hips, looking like he'd been woken from a sound sleep, a puzzled expression on his face. _Oh fuck... this is too much!_ "Bryan... I-- I'm not home."

"Not home... oh." There was remote movement, a small voice. Briana? "Hey, honey. Daddy's talking to Uncle Tony. Go see if Mommy needs help in the kitchen. Yes, she's making breakfast while it's still dark out. Special. Okay." Bryan's voice returned. "You okay where you are?"

Gibbs had moved to sit next to him. He was dressed only in boxers. His hand lightly gripped the jersey material covering Tony's thigh, making no demands. "I'm okay," he said unconvincingly. His insides began to shake. "I... um... What's happening... how's Dad?"

"He's all right, Tony. He said Mom's been having a few problems the doctors were treating. The heart attack was a surprise but he's doing all right. They already made funeral arrangements years ago so no surprises there."

Yeah. Neat and tidy. No loose ends. Except him. "When should I come up?" He tried to focus on what he could understand and control. Funeral. Family. Eyes watching him.

"I'll call you later, bro," Bryan told him gently. "Then come up here and stay with us a few days. Briana wants to hear some more of your crazy stories and little Tony's got this new game... Tazer 2? He said you told him it was coming out."

Tazer 2? "He got Tazer 2! Just like that?" It couldn't be found in the stores... online... sold out... waiting lists. Tony even had Abby try her hand for him. "How the hell did he get Tazer 2!"

There was quiet laughter wafted through the cell. "Connections, bro. Connections. Tina's cousin knows the guy whose friend writes the code." Pause. "Got you one too... was going to give it to you when you came up for your birthday. But you can have it now."

"Oh man!" Tony's excitement rose then suddenly faded as he remembered why he was talking to his brother. "Sorry."

"For what, kid? For what? It's okay. All right? I'm glad I could make you happy. Don't let it get lost in what's going on now. Okay?"

"Okay." Tony sighed. His mother was dead. "I'll have the cell on. Call when you know."

"Will do, kid. Bye."

"Bye."

There were several moments of silence. Gibbs' hand was still on his leg, warm and steady. Tony stared at his cell. He felt nothing... and everything. His mother's voice... her last words... rang true in his mind.

_Next time you'll see me is at my funeral! You disgust me! Don't want to lay eyes on you ever again!_

Something painful moved through his chest and burst from his mouth. His mother was dead.

"Tony..."

Strong arms surrounded him, pulling him against a firm chest, his face against warm skin covered in fine hairs. Another sound escaped him... a sob. How could he be sobbing? He hated his parents, particularly his mother. They hated him. But then they had a right. He was a terrible son.

"Go ahead and let it out, Tony. I'm here. I'm here…"

Fingers threaded into his hair, gently massaging. Gibbs' calm, gentle voice gave permission. Tony groaned as a painful dam cracked from within and he did what he hadn't done in almost ten years. He screamed then physically resisted the man who held him as long hidden anger and frustration emerging, taking over. He needed to destroy something... hit something... anything... anyone...

"Tony! Tony!" His wrists were taken in a stronger grip, his body pulled and pushed then held against a soft surface. Confining without imprisoning. "Tony, focus!"

Command. Gibbs. Tony beheld blue eyes fastened to his. DiNozzo trembled as he realized what he had just done. Not only was he a fucking tease, he was a violent fucking tease. Tears burned his eyes as ghosts of the past and crimes of the present merged within his head. "Oh christ I'm sorry!"

Gibbs' hold on him relaxed immediately. "Come on. Sit up." He drew back and returned to his place on the couch. He patted Tony on the leg. "Come on," he urged in a gentle tone.

Slowly Tony straightened up and resumed his original position. His wrists ached… a little but even as he noticed it the sensation faded. He found he was still holding his cell phone and put it back on the coffee table. One breath… then two… "My mom just died," he threw out. Numbness inside him was giving rise to defeat and pure exhaustion. 

"I heard. I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Tony clenched his hands together. After years, nay decades, of control, his mouth currently had a mind of its own. He had not meant to say that. 

An arm went around his shoulders. The touch was too gentle, too caring. Tony started to pull away. Gibbs didn't understand. He was being too nice. Too…

"What's going on, Tony?"

Those eyes were on him again, seemingly able to drill into his mind. The Secret pushed its way up, screaming to be told. Tempting as a demon. All he would have to do was tell Gibbs and it would be done. The impossible notion that they could be lovers would die before it could take root. "I'm sorry--"

Gibbs' warm hands closed around DiNozzo's face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. "You don't need to apologize, Tony. You need to talk to me."

 _Tell him,_ his conscience warned. _Tell him and then you won't have to worry. He'll be just like all the others. Pity you... give you a good recommendation... make you feel like an alien in your own skin until your last day because you know he'll tell the others. Now there's something Cait would love to get a hold of--_

"Tony."

"I can't!" Tony couldn't see anymore as the tears came again. He grabbed Gibbs' forearms to resist the gentle hold. "Don't be nice to me! You don't understand!"

Gibbs would not be moved. "Then make me understand!" he demanded.

The demon tempted again. But-- "I can't!" He wanted Gibbs. He loved Gibbs. He couldn't destroy it. Not now... this morning. He wanted it to last just a little longer. Gentle fingers wiped his face, smoothed over his hair. "Oh Boss... please!"

"Please what, Tony?" The gentle hands fell away. Tony found he couldn't resist as Gibbs shifted and arms surrounded. Tony sighed as his body rested against the hard surface of Gibbs' chest. Safety… for the moment. "Just relax," Jethro murmured into his ear. "I'm not going anywhere. You didn't hurt me and you're not going to."

Tony shifted restlessly then gave up… gave in. He turned his face against Gibbs' bare shoulder and lay quietly as he let the contact give solace to the darkness within his soul. Gibbs' touch and deep voice shielded him. He imagined a kiss on his brow as sleep took him away from the torment.

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Asleep. Finally. Gibbs continued to caress his charge, kissing the younger man's hair, silently reassuring. When he was sure he maneuvered Tony to lie down, head and shoulders on his lap, adjusting as DiNozzo shifted in his slumber to a more comfortable position against him. Tony had broken down at the news of his mother's death. Not only broken down but his normally over-enthusiastic yet level headed subordinate became aggressively tried to escape, tried to hurt himself in the process. But as he got Tony to listen the young man simply grew withdrawn and silent but finally relaxed. Helpless, Gibbs found he could do nothing more than hope he was doing the right thing.

What a night. After years and months of dancing around each other, after being tricked by both his oldest and youngest co-workers, he and Tony had made out, bringing each other off in the middle of the office. Something Gibbs had never imagined doing and knew could never happen again. But, for that moment, it was the right thing. Tony's passion and eagerness were more than he could have imagined. In the aftermath Gibbs had brought Tony to his home with every intention of making full and complete love to him, to begin to build a kind of life they could share together, if that's what Tony wanted.

But by the time they reached his house, Tony had grown shy. Gibbs had already assumed that the younger man was not experienced with men. It was painfully obvious but not a problem for him. He liked to teach. But what surprised him was the idea that Tony might not be very experienced in intimacy with anyone. It didn't make sense for someone as in need of contact as DiNozzo. _What the hell happened to you, Special Agent DiNozzo?_

With no answer forthcoming from the exhausted, traumatized young man, Jethro sighed and prepared for the long siege… to wait for the moment he might understand what was going on. To wait for the moment Tony would let him help.

Gibbs found himself dozing, alert to any movement or sound. Vaguely he sensed time pass then he heard a cell phone ring... and ring. He opened his eyes then carefully shifted Tony as he reached for DiNozzo's cell. The caller ID said "Bryan". Tony's brother. Fourteen years older. Six inches taller. Built like a bear. So different from Tony. Bryan DiNozzo was an investigator and bails bondsman. He was very good at his job and completely above board in his practices. In a deep background check on Tony he had learned this. The elder DiNozzo was married to his wife, Tina, for nearly fifteen years and they had two children, Anthony and Briana. Very loving family who seemed to love Tony very much. 

On the other hand, Tony's parents were another matter. Married nearly fifty years they were law-abiding people but seem to lack attachment to their children, Tony in particular. There was, in investigating, some police incident in the home. But the parents weren't the suspects. And Tony wasn't born until the following year so it had nothing to do with him. Gibbs searched no further. It was none of his business.

The phone trilled again and Gibbs glanced down at the man lying on his lap. Tony was deeply asleep. At the next ring he made a decision and flipped open the phone.

"Gibbs."

"Gibbs?" There was a long pause. "Special Agent Gibbs?"

Deep voice. Direct. Gibbs smiled. He liked DiNozzo's brother already. "I'm Tony's supervisor."

Another pause. Gibbs could hear wheels turning and listened closely. If there was going to be a problem he wanted to know now. "I'm Bryan DiNozzo, Tony's brother. How is he?"

Concern. Deep concern. Loving concern. Gibbs glanced at the display on the cell. It was almost seven in the morning. "He's sleeping."

"Good. Let him sleep. He's been through enough." Pause. "He said he wasn't home. He's at your place?"

Fishing. "Yes."

"That's fine. I'm glad he wasn't alone." Bryan's tone relaxed a little. "When he wakes up, have him call me. The funeral is set for Monday at nine in the morning."

"Where's the funeral home?" Gibbs prepared to make mental note so flowers could be sent. It was the very least they could do.

There was long silence then; "I can't explain to you why though I appreciate what you might want to do but it would not be a good idea to send anything. He just needs people to be there for him."

Filing the mystery away, Gibbs merely nodded, caressing Tony's face as he did so. "We will be."

"Good. Just... he's going to have a bad time." Bryan's voice was strained and hesitant. "I have a feeling he's not going to be himself. Don't let him test you."

"Understood," Gibbs assured, his concern growing in concert with his frustration. He wanted to know what Tony's big brother was talking about but instinct told him it would be the wrong thing to ask.

"Thank you. Tell him to give me a call as soon as he can... or I'll call him about lunchtime. Oh... and Gibbs?" There was a significant pause then; "Hurt him and I'll kill you."

Yes. Gibbs definitely liked this man. "Yes, sir."

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The smell of food cooking invaded his dreams. Tony sniffed then shifted, his leg falling over the edge of the soft surface he was lying on. What-- He blinked. Sunlight invaded through sliding glass doors at the opposite end of the large living area, casting a glow on the small, round dining table in front of them. Tony pushed off the thin blanket that had been tossed on him and sat up. He spotted his cell on the coffee table and picked it up to see the time. It was almost ten in the morning.

Movement made him to look up. Gibbs was emerging from a side room, the kitchen, with a platter in his hand. He put it down on the dining table and looked around. His lips turned up as he spotted Tony. "You ready to eat?"

Eat? Tony grinned shyly as his stomach growled. "Um... yeah." He felt oddly stable as he stood up. His mother was dead. But the thought didn't touch off any extreme emotions like it had before… only sadness, regret and guilt. "I'll be right back," he said with meaning as his bladder yelled at him. 

"Take your time. There's a half bath by the stairs."

Tony followed direction and did his business then washed up, all the while wondering why he wasn't feeling anything. It was as if nothing happened or it didn't matter. Shock, a more alert part of his brain explained. Maybe, the rest of him tentatively agreed.

The table was set with a couple of plates, utensils, a platter of bacon and scrambled eggs and a container of orange juice that was already open. Not surprisingly there was a full coffee pot resting on a warmer in the middle of the table. "This looks great," Tony commented. His supervisor cooked? For him?

"Sit down, DiNozzo," Gibbs ordered quietly as he walked in carrying a plate of toast and a small tub of butter. "Eat."

Tony sat down in the nearest seat, hoping it wasn't where Gibbs wanted to sit. But the older man merely put the toast and butter down and sat in the other chair so they faced each other and reached for the coffee. Tony watched as his host filled his cup then reached for the toast. It was tempting to treat this all as normal. But—  
"I don't make breakfast everyday, especially for more than myself," Gibbs gruffed. "Eat!"

"Yes, boss." Tony picked up the platter and took a little bit of each item then more as that gesture earned him a hairy eye from his companion. DiNozzo was, to tell the truth, starved. And after consuming a few bites and sipping from a glass suddenly filled with orange juice he began to settle. Gibbs was silent but it was a comfortable silence, asking no questions and making no demands. Soon enough Tony was full, his brain functioning better. As he took his last bite Gibbs finally spoke.

"Your brother called."

It was casually said. Tony tensed. He really didn't want Gibbs to know his family... even a good guy like Bryan. Because he would find out the rest. "You answered my cell?" he asked, surprised. Gibbs never invaded anyone's privacy unless there was need. 

Gibbs concentrated on pouring another cup of coffee. "I did. You were asleep and I didn't want to disturb you." Pause. "Your brother agreed."

Oh. "So you guys talked?" Did he know already? Tony swallowed as he forced that terrifying thought away. Bryan wouldn't have told him.

"He was very concerned about you," Gibbs quietly sipped his coffee. "He said the funeral is Monday morning."

Tony sighed. Done. His mother would be buried. "Thanks for breakfast," he murmured. 

"You're welcome. You can help me clean up." Gibbs cocked his head. "You're on Bereavement Leave for a week," he decreed.

Tony expected that... but not a week. "I won't need that long."

"If it were within my powers I'd have you off for two weeks."

"Two--" _Is he trying to tell me something?_

"Tony," Gibbs sighed and moved to DiNozzo's side and leaned close. "Something is going on and I wish you'd tell me." He dipped lower and brushed Tony's lips with his own then drew back. "I'm worried about you... I love you."

Tony touched his lips as his brain registered what Gibbs just said. Love? Tony met the other man's gaze. "I love you too," he said honestly as he ruthlessly held back tears, knowing feelings would be different once he knew.

Gibbs kissed his forehead. "There's nothing you can tell me that would drive me away, Tony."

Coaxing. The familiar demon laughed and whispered within Tony's soul… goaded him to tell. But Gibbs had just made him breakfast. Had just tried to help. He just couldn't let it all go to hell yet. Just a little longer. He stared at his lap. "I can't, boss."

Gibbs petted his hair. "That's okay. I'll wait. I just wanted you to know I'm willing to listen."

"Okay," Tony accepted then stood up, a smile on his lips. He would make this time good for them before he had to leave. "You said you needed help with the dishes?"

Gibbs looked as if he wanted to say something else then simply returned the younger man's smile. "I wash. You dry."

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Tony's brother called again around noon. The arrangements were done. There would be a wake and service on Sunday and another service and burial on Monday. Bryan urged Tony to take his time, to come Sunday afternoon, after the first service. Jethro wondered about this. But Tony shut down, revealing nothing but his plans to do just as his brother suggested. Gibbs made one offer to accompany Tony, as his friend and supervisor. But near panic flashed in the younger man's hazel eyes.

_I can't tell you how much I appreciate you wanting to be with me... there. But you can't. I-- I can't tell you why. But I don't want you to think--_

_It's okay, Tony. Maybe after you come back... we can talk?_

DiNozzo promised but there was a hint of foreboding in his voice. Gibbs drove Tony to NCIS so Tony could take his own car home – which miraculously no longer had a flat tire -- and pack before driving to Pennsylvania tomorrow. As he watched his friend... his lover... start his journey his gut kept up a steady stream of warning, urging him to act. But without information Gibbs was helpless.

Hesitantly Jethro took out his cell. He also didn't like bothering his people with personal issues, especially something like this. Yet the tiny voice in his soul cried, convincing him that if he did nothing the resulting train wreck would be his fault.

"Gibbs?" Abby sounded very sleepy. It was nearly two in the afternoon. Middle of the night for the goth woman when she wasn't working. "What's wrong?"

"Hey Abs." Gibbs bit his lip. He was about to betray Tony's trust. Should he?

"I heard about Tony. Ducky spread the word.... just to me, Cait and Tim. Told us you didn't want any of us to call him."

"No." Tony seemed almost phobic about mentioning his family. He nearly turned white when Gibbs mentioned speaking to his brother. Something was more than very wrong. "Abs, I need a very big... very personal... favor."

"Whatever you need, bossman," Abby said without hesitation.

Gibbs let out a long breath, warmed by the steadfast loyalty. "It's about Tony. Just before I took him on there was the usual background and deep background checks done. Of course he and his family are fine but-- Abs, something's not right. I need you to do another check on Tony. Anything on his parents. There was something that happened in 1971 but there might be something else." He sighed, exasperated. "I don't know."

There was long silence. Jethro frowned as he wondered if the connection had been broken. "Abs?"

"I'm here." Abby tone was hesitant and sad. "Gibbs, I don't want to betray a trust. Tony said something once. We were talking about parents. He said his parents hated him but then they deserved to. It was really weird, Gibbs. When I tried to say something he suddenly changed the subject, acting as if he hadn't said anything. I rarely mentioned family to him after that."

Gibbs swallowed his fear. The alarms bells suddenly turned into full mayday sirens. "Please check for me? And make sure you don't leave a trail."

"Like a Shaolin on rice paper, grasshopper." 

Gibbs opened his mouth to ask what the hell she was talking about when the connection was broken. Abby would be on the case... his case. He thought a moment then made another call. "Hey, Ducky. I-- I need to talk to you."

 

To Be Continued....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again... Mind the Warnings in the beginning... thanks for Kudos and Comments... I will reply...

 

He broke no speed limit as he drove. Played no music. It was a bright, cool day but it might as well have been storming. Tony couldn't remember much of the four hour drive from his home to his brother's place. His mind filled with memories that played over and over.

 

_Look at him! Look at him! Spitting image!_

 

_No! No! It can't be! It can't be!_

 

A horn sounded close to him. Instinctively he moved his steering wheel, barely avoiding an accident. _Now wouldn't that just set everything off,_ he chided himself. He needed to get to Bryan's in one piece, not give his brother more grief than he already had. Still, as he settled back into driving his mind drifted back in time once more. He was in the living room playing with some new toy his brother had gotten him. A strange man in a suit was sitting with his parents talking in low tones like grownups did sometimes. The man was showing them some things Tony didn't understand and didn't care about. Sesame Street was on television. He liked Sesame Street...

 

_"Get out!"_

_His father's sharp voice drew Tony's attention and put him on alert. His father was big like his brother. But his brother was nice. His father was not nice..._

_"Mr. DiNozzo, I only--"_

_"If my wife says she doesn't recognize him! She doesn't recognize him! It's over!"_

_The strange man left. His father slammed the front door. Tony heard his mother cry and walked over, meaning to climb into her lap and hug her... make her better._

_"Don't touch her!"_

_Tony didn't remember falling or hitting his head. His father was screaming. He didn't usually scream but he did grab and sometimes hurt...._

_"You little bastard! Right under our noses!"_

_His father's face was red... very angry. Tony wondered what he had done. He was watching television. He was behaving like he was told. His brother was coming to take him to see a movie and play at the park. He looked around frantically as his father stepped closer. Where was Bry?_

_"Bob, don't! Don't do that!"_

_His father hesitated. "Do what! You don't have anything to say! It's your fault he's here!"_

_"Hey! What the fuck's going on!"_

_Tony vision blurred with tears. Bry was home. Bry looked mad though. Tony wondered what he had done._

_"There was a detective here, Bryan. They found the scum who beat you and your mother!"_

_His brother stood straighter. His expression was odd as he rubbed his face... his jaw. "They did?"_

_"He did it again to someone else only worse!" His father glared at his mother who began to cry again. Her pain lanced through Tony. He wanted to hug her but his father said not to touch. "He wanted your mother to identify him... testify!"_

_His brother looked at him, his brows wrinkling. He walked over and picked Tony up. Frightened Tony squealed and pushed impossibly at him. He didn't want to be hurt again._

_"No. No. Tony... kid, it's all right." His brother held him close. "He's fucking bleeding, Dad! What the hell's wrong with you!"_

_"I don't want him near your mother! That detective showed us a picture!"_

_"I know what the fucker looks like, Dad! I was there! Remember?" He ruffled Tony's head gently then peered at him closely. Tony was trying not to cry. He was supposed to be a big boy. "It's okay, buddy. We're going to go out like I promised and I'll take care of that boo-boo on your head. Okay?"_

_Confused Tony merely nodded as he wiped his eyes. Bry was so mad... like his father. But he wasn't mad at him. His father was--_

_"Son, do you know what you're holding? He's not worth--"_

_Something in his big brother's body changed. Frightened again Tony pushed. He wanted to go to his room... needed to hide under the bed... like he always did when Bry wasn't home and his father and mother got mad at him. But his brother held him, kissed him on the head. "I know, Dad," his brother said in a way that Tony hadn't heard before. He sounded almost like their father... but different. "I've never tried to deny it like you two, when you weren't arguing about it. Dad, this kid is six years old. Six! He hasn't done anything worse than throw a tantrum and he's never done much of that! He. Is. My. Brother."_

_"He's a demon!" His mother said as she stood. She wiped her tissue over her face, suddenly calm and walked to stand next to his father. "You're father's right. He's my punishment."_

_"That's it!" his brother shouted. "You two need to calm down and look at what you're doing... saying! Tony's not deaf, you know! And for now he's coming with me!"_

_"Bryan! What the hell are you doing! You have classes starting in a week!"_

_His brother said nothing but took Tony into his bedroom. Bry put him down and told him what a good boy he was being and to get some of his favorite books and toys together. He would come stay with him for a little while. Confused, Tony stared at his brother, unable to fathom. He had never been away from home before. Bry merely ruffled his head again and told him to hurry up then closed the door._

_Moments later there was an explosion of shouts and crying from downstairs. Tony looked at his bed... under his bed as the temptation to hide overwhelmed him. The shouts began to die down. Tony forced himself to be brave and only reached under the bed for his blanket... the only thing other than Bryan he could hold onto. He took his spelling book and his book about policemen. He wanted to be a policeman when he grew up--_

_"Ready to go kid?"_

_The door was open and his brother stood tall, holding out his hand. His face was a color Tony had seen only after his brother played basketball and he was breathing hard, but his dark eyes met Tony's with a smile. Tony held his possessions against him. "I'm going to be with you?" he wondered._

_His brother's smile got a little smaller. "For a little while, kid. Mom and Dad aren't mad at you... they just have some things to talk about... grownup things... then I'll bring you back."_

 

Tony saw the Lincoln Town car as he pulled into the driveway of his brother's home and cursed. _I should turn around now. Go back home. Bry would understand._

Then what? Tony sighed as he saw Tina, his sister-in-law, come out the front door, waving to him. Shit. Too late. He parked at the curb and got out just in time to put his arms around the woman who had run up to his car. "Hey, Tina."

"Hi," she soothed as her light voice wafted through him. She was a full figured woman with long blond hair that was currently braided back. She was the sister he never had, a perfect compliment to Bryan. "You don't have to come in right this second. She showed up unexpectedly."

Tony could well imagine. Aunt Vera. His mother's older sister. The family Matriarch. She was a charismatic, powerful woman who had more money than god and influence to go with it. It was always her opinion that her younger sister had married down. But as she thought boys were far better than girls and she only managed to have one daughter, she tended to gravitate towards Bryan, her nephew. Her only nephew if she had anything to say about it.

Tony sighed. This wasn't starting out well... as usual. He used to care what Aunt Vera had to say to Bryan as she hardly ever spoke in front of him. But now Tony just wanted her to disappear... or he could--

The front door opened. Tony heard a shout. Tina stiffened against him in surprise. Bryan hardly ever shouted. With a voice like his he never had to. But he was shouting... at his aunt... an old woman. His aunt emerged quickly, barely tall enough to reach his chest in height but her posture was straight and regal, her expression caught between determination and even... guilt?

"You had no right!" Bryan yelled at her. He was bent so his face was even was hers. "None!"

"Oh shit," he heard Tina whisper as she moved forward. It had been a long time since he had seen his level headed brother like this. And of course, the topic of discussion had to be one Anthony DiNozzo. "I can't believe she did it!"

Did what? Tony watched her run up the walk to where the two were engaged. Tony followed. He didn't think Bryan would strike Vera. But bad vibes were broadcasting off his big brother in waves.

"He's old enough to know," his aunt was countering. "Were you going to keep this from him forever? Make him think that-" Her eyes widened as they fell on Tony. "Anthony."

Anthony... never Tony... and barely Anthony. It must be a special day for him to have been acknowledged at all. Tony didn't bother to reply. Just as quickly Vera's dark eyes dismissed him.

Tina looked shocked and sad as she sized up the old woman. "Little Tony is my son! I made very clear about what would be done, in the proper time, with Tony's help!" She got right up in Vera's face, a feat few people could do. "You are no longer welcome in my home! You are no longer welcome to see my children! They will be at the service but not at the reception. But you are not to approach or talk to them. Do you understand!"

Vera glared at her. "You will understand one day that what I did was right! He should know. Be warned."

"Leave."

Bryan's voice was deadly calm. Tony shivered. His mother was dead less barely three days and the family was breaking up... over him he suspected.

"Bryan."

An arm went around Tony's shoulders. "Hey bro!" DiNozzo found himself engulfed in a huge hug. His brother's eyes were calm as they met his. But there was a painful darkness in them that sparked Tony's guilt. "Come on in!" Tony was steered into the house. He glimpsed back at his aunt who stood dumb-founded.

"Bry--"

"We're not going to talk about her anymore, kid," Bryan said flatly. "I'm sorry you had to see it."

"What's going on?" Tina was in the house now, closing the front door. Through a front window Tony could see his aunt's Lincoln pulling out. She was gone.

"Uncle Tony!" A young girl with dark curls came running down the stairs. She was seven and looked like her mother. She leaped and Tony caught her in a hug.

"Hey, Jumper!" This was his special nickname for her. When he held her up as an infant she did nothing but laugh and jump on his lap. He sighed contentedly as small arms wrapped around him and a wet kiss was planted on his cheek. For a moment all was right with the world.

"Hey, sweetheart," Bryan said after a moment. "Mommy needs help to do a few things before tomorrow. Will you go and help her?"

Briana frowned. Bryan's tone was odd for her... serious. Normally she would give token protest but instead she nodded, suddenly quiet. Something squirmed in Tony's stomach. Some major shit had just gone down. "I have to go," she apologized. "Can I show you my spelling test? I got an A."

Tony smiled brightly and kissed her on the forehead. "Later, Jumper. Okay? Promise." He gently put her down on her feet.

Briana brightened a little. "Okay," she said as she took her mother's hand and left.

Silence reigned a moment then Bryan patted Tony on the back. "Little Tony's in the playroom. Come on." He hesitated then faced Tony. "She told him."

She told him. Tony didn't even know he had started cursing and shouting until his brother's hands were locked on his shoulders. His mother was dead. He could deal with that. But his nephew... his buddy... knew the Secret.

"Tony! Stop!"

DiNozzo froze. He stared up into Bryan's eyes, expecting his brother's expression to match his angry tone. But the larger man merely watched him, his eyes showing nothing but concern and compassion. "I'm sorry," Tony whispered after a moment as unwelcomed tears glided down his face. "Man I'm sorry!"

Bryan's arms pulled Tony against him. "It's okay," his deep voice forgave. "Just calm down. Okay?"

Tony nodded, unwilling to separate from his brother's embrace. _Little Tony's going to hate me. He's going to hate his name. It'll never be the same between us--_

"She had been hinting about doing this for awhile so we should have been more careful," his brother said quietly. "I was getting ready and Tina saw you pull up." His arms tightened their grip. "She had ten minutes with him alone."

"Oh god, Bry!" Tony shook as he began to cry. "I'm so sorry!"

Bryan shifted and held Tony out at arms length. "You keep blaming yourself for the shit others are doing on their own. Why?"

Tony shrugged and looked away. He never had an answer to that but that didn't stop him from feeling responsible.

"Tony." Bryan sighed. His big fingers wiped at Tony's face. "I've always told you. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with them."

"Uncle Tony?"

DiNozzo heard the young voice. 'Little Tony' was almost eleven and was already taller than his mother. But his voice was still a little boy's. Tony sniffed and quickly wiped his face. He faced his nephew, smiling, ready for the confusion and anger... now that the boy knew...

Young Tony looked angry but not at all confused. His eyes focused on Tony in a disturbingly adult fashion. "I sort of knew already," he said with a glance at his father. "Granddad said some things... sometimes."

"He told you!" Bryan's face was twisting again, hurt and rage in his voice. Even young Tony backed off a little.

"He said something once... I don't think he knew I was there." He continued to look at Tony. "It's okay, Uncle Tony," he said. "She was so... she was talking like you did something wrong. And I know you couldn't but she told me you'd be just like the man who hurt Grandmom. I got mad as her and told Dad." His young brow furrowed as he gazed at his father. "Why does everyone hate Uncle Tony?"

Bryan's expression was concentrated as if seeing something new in his son. "Not everyone hates Uncle Tony, son. I don't. Your Mom and Briana don't. You don't... right?"

A frown passed over the boy's face. "Why would I hate Uncle Tony? Whatever that guy did to... Grandmom was... I mean what does that have to do with Uncle Tony?"

Tony's vision blurred. Maybe the kid really didn't understand--

"Because some people are very ignorant and unkind, son," Bryan said carefully as he visibly recovered. "But you've shown you're becoming a young man today." He reached out and ruffled the boy's head. "I'm very proud of you."

The compliment was taken with a mixture of confusion and emerging pride. Little Tony looked at his uncle. "You okay? Grandaunt didn't hurt you did she?"

"Um... no..." Tony wiped his eyes again as he began to understand it might be all right between himself and his namesake.

"Good... because--" His face reddened as he glanced at the floor. "I said a curse word to her."

"You did?" Bryan's tone was unreadable.

Young Tony hesitated then faced his father. "I'm sorry."

Bryan spared a small smile to Tony as took his son by the shoulders. "Normally I would ground you for that. You don't curse without very good reason and never at an older person... particularly a lady. But this time was okay," he absolved. "But never again."

"Okay, Dad," the boy responded, genuinely repentant. He looked from his father to Tony. "Do you want to see Tazer 2?"

Tony stared at him, feeling tears threaten again. Just like that the issue was settled. His nephew had accepted and was moving on. He wanted to play Tazer 2. Bryan's hand gripped the back of his neck, forcing Tony to look at him. His brother's eyes were bright... even amused. "I-- um-- have to get some stuff from the car and--" Tony hedged. He wasn't sure he was ready to relax.

"Give me your keys," Bryan ordered as he released Tony and held out his hand. When DiNozzo hesitated he gave Tony an exasperated look. "Keys!"

"Okay! Okay!" Tony fished out his keys and handed them over.

"I'll bring everything in." He jerked his head towards the hallway where the younger Tony had just disappeared. "He's got two weeks head start. Go!"

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@

"What do you think is going on, Jethro?"

"I don't know!" Gibbs paced... and paced... and paced. On his couch in his home, Ducky Mallard sat sipping bourbon. It was eight o'clock Sunday evening. Tony had gone to his brother's in order to attend his mother's funeral the next morning. Gibbs, much against his own code of ethics, was investigating his subordinate. Not to find any problems that could affect security but for very personal reasons. He had called his old friend because he needed to talk to someone. Ducky, unfortunately, was called to Quantico in spite of the Director's order for time off. An important autopsy needed to be witnessed and supervised. The earliest Mallard could come was a few hours ago. Until then Gibbs sanded his boat, drank coffee and paced a hole in his living room.

"What is your 'gut' telling you?" Ducky asked casually. He had brought carry-out and bourbon for Gibbs but so far Ducky had been the only one to consume either. His pose was patient and attentive, obviously long used to the workings of Gibbs' mind and emotions. Gibbs told him what Abby was doing. Ducky accepted without judgment. He was here to listen and after hours of internal conversation Gibbs found he didn't know what to say and so had paced as Ducky watched, had gone to sand his boat again as Ducky waited. Finally he returned to his living room to pace again, to take comfort in his friend's presence.

"My gut tells me if I don't get to the bottom of this and understand what's going on by tomorrow afternoon I'm going to lose him!" Gibbs stopped moving and stared at his friend. "What the hell's wrong with me?" He should just let this go. If Tony wanted him to know he would have told him. But the young man left clues... his big brother left a few. It was, he suspected, like a test though he couldn't tell if it was intended. Either way it alternately challenging and angering him.

"You love him, Jethro... more than I've ever seen you love someone." Ducky put down is sifter and folded his hands. "He's an interesting young man. Talented. Kind. Quick. Compassionate. Head strong. Prone to be private... sound like anyone?"

Gibbs glared at him. "He's definitely not me... I'm not kind... or compassionate."

"No, of course not," Ducky said with a hint of British sarcasm. "All this very unusual soul searching is merely an exercise of some kind?"

"Shut up!" Gibbs pulled out the dining chair he happen to stop by and sat down... finally. It was, the back of his mind noted for him, the chair Tony had sat in when they shared breakfast yesterday morning... was it really only two days? "What the hell could have happened to him? Cait had hinted something about abuse but she couldn't be sure. But everything points in that direction. He hates his parents but thinks he's a failure in their eyes. He has a very supportive brother who sounds like he'd do bodily harm to anyone who might hurt Tony. Abuse... but something's missing. Like I'm putting together a puzzle that's suppose to be the White House and it turns out to be The Capitol."

Ducky pursed his lips and sighed. "Abby cares a lot about Anthony, Jethro... so do I. We'll find out what's happening." He hesitated then added; "That young man loves you, Jethro. Don't doubt that. Even if you found the answer day after tomorrow there will be opportunity. You just need to be very patient and make sure Anthony knows he's loved no matter what."

Jethro grinned. "I can do that," he said with commitment. When he saw DiNozzo again he would be sure the young man understood what love really was... would teach him to love himself because that, Gibbs was beginning to suspect, was the major problem no matter what the reason.

"I need to go soon, Jethro." Ducky was standing. "Gerald's friend is coming to collect me so I can finish the report from that assignment I wasn't suppose to have this weekend. Then I'm going to lend dear Abby a hand in her research."

"She's at the Lab?"

Mallard walked over and patted Gibbs on the shoulder. "She's been there since you called yesterday. She's been battling security systems all over the Northeast then Pennsylvania."

She has? Gibbs swallowed as a warm feeling worked through him. He really did have good friends even if he wasn't always good to them.

Ducky grunted amusedly. "I know that look, Jethro. You are always worth the trouble. We are a family and this is a family matter. Don't worry. We'll figure it out and you'll set it right." A sharp honk resounded from outside. Ducky sighed. "I'm sorry... there he is." He patted Gibbs again. "Eat something, Jethro. Rest. You won't be any good to Anthony if you're being impossible because you're too tired or hungry... eh?"

Gibbs smiled at his old friend, suddenly feeling much better and filled with purpose. "Thanks, Ducky."

Ducky gave him a fatherly grin. "The thanks will be when we understand how to help Anthony."

 

Early Monday morning. Nearly five o'clock. Gibbs strode into NCIS headquarters, which was still relatively dim as the prime shift was not yet due. Security was somewhat surprised to see him but made no comment beyond calling him 'sir'. Gibbs' expression was enough to make the few people he encountered on his way to the morgue take every means necessary to get out of the way. Ducky had called him almost an hour ago. His voice was flat and dark as he requested Gibbs' presence. They had found out something about Tony.

The elevator doors opened. Gibbs walked into the Lab and stopped. Abby, dressed casually in her goth clothes had her face in her hands. Ducky was next to her, leaning close, speaking quietly. //What the hell's going on?//

He moved across the Lab quietly. His eyes fell on the monitor glowing in front of his forensic lab tech. He was surprised to see the picture of a young man dressed in something dark with disheveled hair and a "I-don't-give-a-shit" expression on his face. The photo was familiar and Gibbs sighed. "Why the hell do you have up a picture of Tony from that undercover thing I had him do a month ago?" The younger man was supposed to have been an arms dealer, a bad man. He had played his part well and eventually they had gotten the sellers. He backed down as Ducky threw him a reproachful glare. "What? I thought you had something."

"We do, Jethro." Ducky's voice was deadly calm. "This is not Tony."

Not-- Gibbs scrutinized the display and immediately realized his mistake. The man's hair was lighter with more waves. His face was slightly longer and thinner. His expression was so very real. It was a mugshot and brief indexed information from Pennsylvania State Police. "Who the fuck is it?"

"Thomas Shells."

Shells? Gibbs took a better look at the information captioned with the photo. Multiple arrests and two stints of four to six years in prison between 1956 and 1977. Robbery. Assault. His last arrest was for the rape and murder of a woman and her daughter. The both of them were home when he broke in. Something terrible tickled his mind.

"He was sentenced to life without parole," Abby supplied, her voice trembling. "He died in prison in 1991." Her fingers lightly hovered over her keyboard as if unwilling to touch anything attached to the picture on the monitor. "There was a notation in the case file of regarding contact with a DiNozzo family which referenced back to the information you gave me to start my search." She glanced at Ducky, making obvious her difficulty to go on. But Ducky gave her a reassuring nod and she drew a deep breath.

"In 1971 there was a robbery in the home of Robert and Grace DiNozzo. Mrs. DiNozzo was badly beaten and spent two weeks in the hospital. Their teenaged son, Bryan, who tried to help, was also injured... his jaw was broken. No mention of sexual assault. No charges were ever filed even when the creep was arrested seven years later. The DiNozzo case was closed." She hesitated then hit a button, turning off the image. She started to open her mouth to say more but no words emerged. Her eyes began filling with tears.

Ducky continued to rub Abby's shoulders but his sharp eyes were on Gibbs. "Anthony was born about nine months after the attack."

Gibbs didn't realize his legs had given out until a firm hand gripped his upper arm and a chair was shoved under his backside. All the pieces to the puzzle came together in a rush. "My god."

"God had little to do with what happened to those poor people," Ducky commented quietly. "Except in the blessed existence of young Anthony."

Gibbs absorbed and processed. Shock turned to rage as he finally understood Tony's fear... his pain and torment. "Goddamn them!" he shouted as he stood.

"Jethro?"

Gibbs turned on Mallard, his thoughts racing as all the connections were made. "His fucking goddamn parents! They've tortured him all of his life!" He glanced at his watch. The funeral would begin in a few hours. Tony had his brother to help him face this but otherwise he was alone... exposed. He could make it there in a little under four hours if traffic allowed... which it might not... considering the time. He'd be hitting layers of rush hour traffic. But that couldn't be avoided. "I have to go." Tony had asked him not to come, not to be at his side. It was a mistake for Gibbs to have agreed. Tony needed him, needed to know he had more family beside his brother, people who would stand as shield against whatever might be going on. He pulled out his cell. "Cait? I need you to cover for me."

"Cover?" Todd's voice sounded as if she had just woken up. Gibbs regretted that but didn't have time to tell her anything. Maybe Ducky would. It was all right for Cait to know. "Where are you going?" She sounded more alert. Her tone was mildly confused and concerned.

"I can't tell you." Gibbs fought to keep irritation out of his voice. "But I'm going to be gone the whole day unless a call comes in. All right?"

"Yeah."

Her short answer was all Gibbs had patience for. He closed his phone and started straightening out his clothes. He wanted to look presentable if he was going to a funeral... or as presentable as he could. "Need a tie, Ducky," he ordered.

"I only have bow ties, I'm afraid," Ducky offered.

Gibbs buttoned his shirt collar. "Don't care. Need it now."

"Yes, Jethro." Ducky's drew closer and gripped Gibbs' arm, drawing his attention. "Take care of him... let him know you're going to be there... even if he might resist you."

"Plan to, Ducky," Gibbs responded impatiently. He briefly swallowed his impatience as he leaned close to Abby and pecked her on the cheek. "Thank you... I owe you more than you know." He was heartened when she spared him a teary smile. Then his mind shifted back on track. "Where's the goddamn tie!"

To be Continued....


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. Life is this way right now. Don't know when it will be different. If someone has read this story before I want to say I rewrote some stuff... nothing drastic. But in re-reading I felt it was getting too... emotional. I think I tightended it up a bit. Hope it is enjoyed for what it is. I'm posing last two chapters at once... comments always welcome.

He was on the road by five-thirty but by six it was clear he was not going to avoid some of the stop and go traffic, people commuting to various cities from surrounding suburbs. Somehow Gibbs managed to maintain his patience, use what shortcuts he could, and made it to Mt Lebanon in just under five hours. He had Abby call all the funeral homes in the area and found out where Mrs. DiNozzo was and where the funeral would be. He found out it was a private graveside service. Invitation only.

Gibbs entered the Catholic cemetery and carefully drove the ribbon of roadway that wound though the gently landscaped fields broken by tombstones, statues and a mausoleum or two. It took only a few minutes to find the funeral. A group of people, well dressed in somber clothes stood under a moveable canopy. A priest stood at the head of the coffin, speaking. Gibbs quickly took a side path then parked so that two trees obscured his location yet gave him a view of what was going on. He didn't want to upset Tony more than he was going to be but he wanted to watch and observe... even protect if needed.

About twenty minutes later people began to move and scatter. Almost everyone walked by the priest then approached a tall man who looked to be in his seventies. Mr. DiNozzo. They spoke with him, some hugged him then walked to the other end of the coffin where two men stood, one very tall the other obviously younger and not nearly as tall. Tony. He watched in horrified fascination as people took pains to speak to Bryan, to hug him but only a few came close to Tony who had managed to step back, his head bowed. As if suddenly noticing his brother reached back and casually drew Tony to his side, making clear the younger man was to be included in what was going on. Gibbs wondered then, as he watched, how his young lover, even with his brother's support, had managed to become the man he was today, to bear the invisible scars that were so obvious to Gibbs now yet retain the sunny personality, the care and compassion that was so natural to him.

As the last person filed past, Tony hugged his brother. Bryan returned the embrace, nearly lifting him as he patted him on the back. Without actually having met the man, Bryan DiNozzo had already made it to Gibbs' 'inner circle' list by that gesture alone.

Suddenly Tony's head came up. His eyes searched then zeroed in on Gibbs' car in an instant. _Shit... forgot he's nearly psychic... if I believed in shit like that._ He realized he should have parked further away. But it was done. Tony knew he was here. Gibbs wondered if he should just start his car and go, or get out and confront. He didn't want to do that here. It wasn't his intention to disturb this...

Bryan grabbed Tony's shoulders as they younger man began to agitate. Gibbs had an unusually good sense of hearing and could pick up a word or two, even at this distance. Tony was cursing, getting upset. His brother threw Gibbs a concentrated look then leaned close to his brother, speaking quietly. Tony continued to resist then seemed to gain control as he listened, his expression fearful and angry. The older DiNozzo, Tony's father, also glanced in his direction then joined a few people as they headed for a limo in order to leave. As Gibbs wondered what his next action should be, Bryan put a hand on Tony's shoulder and guided him towards the car.

"Special Agent Gibbs?" Bryan greeted as he walked up to the driver's side, his grip firm on Tony. The younger DiNozzo's expression completely unreadable. His eyes were downcast. "Wasn't expecting you."

"Wasn't expecting to be here," Gibbs said honestly, his eyes on Tony. "But I thought DiNozzo could use a little extra backup." He smiled a little as Tony's eyes came up. His face was red and tear streaked. "I'm sorry," Gibbs said sincerely. "I didn't want to disturb anything--"

"Not at all." Bryan's dark eyes were penetrating. Gibbs was reminded of the warning this man had given him about hurting his brother and fully understood how serious that warning was. "There's going to be a reception at the veteran's hall. You're invited to come if you'd like." He patted his brother on the shoulder. "Bring him with you. He can tell you the way."

Challenge. Bryan knew he knew and was testing him. Tony glared at his brother then looked down again. It was going to be a battle. "No problem. Tony, get in."

Tony didn't move. Bryan sighed. "Kid, it's okay," he murmured to his brother, dropping the charade of a casual conversation. "Trust me. It's all right."

Gibbs witnessed the flight or fight responses spark through the young man. Like Bryan he waited patiently, willing to give Tony all the time he wanted. Finally Tony broke from his brother. "What the fuck!" he grated out as he opened the passenger door and dropped in.

Bryan gave Gibbs a brilliant smile though his eyes still watched. "Take your time... but bring him by in a few or I'll have to send out a search party." It was said amiably but Gibbs understood. They had an hour or so, tops, to work it out.

"I'll take care of him," Gibbs promised. Bryan nodded, his expression turning grim as he patted the doorframe and walked away. The calm before the storm, the former gunnery sergeant suspected. He scanned the tense, miserable form sitting next to him. His lover. It took every ounce of will power not to take Tony into his arms and just hold him. But he had to be the firm one when Tony was like this or nothing would work out. "Close the door, DiNozzo."

 

_Close the door._ Tony thought about it. He could take off here, get a good start before Gibbs could even start after him... assuming Gibbs would even bother. But what for? _Might as well get it over with and move on._ He reached out and closed the passenger door. He flinched as the automatic lock clicked down and the windows came up. 

Trapped. Tony could hear Gibbs' steady breathing, smell the unique scent that was his boss. He spared a glimpse at the coffin standing alone beneath the canopy. Everyone was gone, leaving behind the beautiful flowers, the ribbons... the memories. His mother was dead. Her suffering was done. Tony closed his eyes as feelings conflicted. Part of him didn't care. Part of him--

"I know and I don't give a shit."

The words were quiet and calm. Tony's mind went over the words, explored the tone they were spoken in. The once or twice he had shared his secret with someone he thought he could share some of his life with the reaction had been diverse. The first time was not too bad at first. Understanding. Curiosity. Sympathy. But within a few days it was obvious that it was something Lisa was not ready for. Their break-up was polite. They even remained friends… for awhile. The second time started out the same way then got worse. Billy. Tony was still young and the need to warn people before he really… did it with them was overwhelming. Billy just stopped calling… didn't return his calls. At the end his first boyfriend, his last up to now with Gibbs, didn't want any contact at all.

Tony glanced aside. Gibbs sat in the driver's seat, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on his lap. The Marine's eyes were on him but in a way that did not force anything. This was a new reaction. But it would all end the same. He wondered what else he could do, if Gibbs would help him with a good referral when this job was done. _At least it won't be my father's doing._

"Not sure what to say, Gibbs," he finally began. "Should I say I'm sorry for not telling you? Or because…"

"Tony." Gibbs tone was tired. "You have nothing to apologize for. I should be the one to say I'm sorry." He wiped a hand over his face then let it rest in the space between them. "I shouldn't have invaded your privacy like that but… I was worried about you."

_No… this isn't how it started out the last two times…gotta give it that._ Tony drew in a deep breath. "So now you know what a fucked up mess I am."

Now Gibbs' hand was on his arm, warm and firm. Tony almost jerked away but instinct told him it was safe. "You're a mess but not even close to being fucked up." The hand lifted from his arm to cup Tony's. Gibbs' expression was… weird. Tony held his breath as he began to wonder if it would be all right. "I love you, Tony Dinozzo. "

"Boss—"

"Not here, Tony," Gibbs corrected softly. "Here we are lovers." His head tilted in that quizzical way. "Or more?"

Tony held still as his insides began to shake. More? What? A hard swallow moved his throat against Gibbs' hand. "Why?"

Jethro seemed to relax, his expression became intense. "I love you," he said simply.

Love. Tony drew back, out of contact. Suddenly he was angry. It wasn't that simple. It never was. "How can you love me!" he demanded as the dam burst from within. "My real father raped and ruined people's lives! I'm a fucking bastard! Did you see his picture! I looked just like him—"

Strong hands grabbed his jacket and pulled him forward. Before Tony could react, warm lips fastened to his in a fast kiss. "You are not a bastard!" the older man shouted as he drew back. "You are a loving, caring man! That… BASTARD was a piece of shit who happened to look like you!" He released Tony and leaned back, his blue eyes blazing. "Are we clear!"

_It's okay._ Tony's eyes burned as he finally understood, as he really studied Gibbs' face. "I'm sorry—"

His lapels were grabbed again and firm lips pressed against mouth in a more passionate kiss with more than a hint of tongue. Gibbs drew back until their faces were an inch apart. "I'm going to keep doing that until you stop apologizing for being alive!"

Tony's universe realigned. It was okay. All of it. His fingers trailed the older man's face. He watched in fascination as Gibbs' expression softened further. "I might have to apologize all the time then," he ventured suddenly feeling playful. It was going to be all right.

Jethro chuckled. His lips brushed Tony's as a threat. "If we had more time there would be more than kissing involved."

Now there was the stirring. Tony shifted as his groin came alive. He smiled a moment then frowned as a thought filtered through him. How Gibbs had found him… revelation threatened the connection they were making. "They know… don't they?" _Abby… Ducky… Tim… oh shit… Cait… shit…_

"They know," Jethro confirmed. "They're all a part of this… family. Their sole concern is for you."

Oh fuck. He had been so careful to keep this secret. He rarely brought it up with the one person who had a right to know… his brother. Now the whole world knew. "Is this for real, Boss?" He had to reassured. He wasn't going to make it if he—

A kiss with more passion and purpose decended on him. Strong hands gripped his shoulders as their mouths opened, as world faded into warm, sexual pleasure—

The sudden sound of a car motor revving jarred them apart. Gibbs posture turned protective as Tony looked around. A well-known Lincoln Town Car was quickly making it's way our of the cemetery. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"What?" Gibbs was still hovering as if ready to attack.

"My fucking aunt and cousin!" Tony clenched his hands in frustration. "They must have seen... Gibbs I'm sorry!"

Gibbs signed and pulled him into a quick kiss, keeping his promise. Then he put the car into drive and started off in the same direction as the car. "Told you. Don't give a shit!"

Tony tried to relax. He took out his cell.

"What are you doing?" Gibbs asked tersely as he up to the exit to the cemetery. "Which way?"

Tony hesitated. "Aunt Vera and Anna's going to get there before us! I don't think we should go."

"Wrong, DiNozzo. We go. Fuck them!" Gibbs glared at him. "Call your brother and tell him what to expect... tell him we'll be there in... how long?"

Tony sighed. "About twenty minutes." He gestured towards the passing traffic. "Right out here... Left at the light."

It was a tense, silent ride. A few times Tony thought he saw his aunt's car just ahead. He couldn't be sure. His brother laughed when he told him about what happened. In truth things were going too well and too fast. In the long run he didn't care what his family thought... so long as Bryan was okay. But he didn't want Gibbs hurt... didn't want to drive him away.

"You think too hard," Gibbs commented as he turned into a large parking lot bordered by a strip mall that was anchored by a VFW hall. Tony saw her aunt's car instantly and groaned as he spotted Anna talking to his Aunt Vera as they walked toward the entrance. As one they turned their heads towards them as Gibbs glided his car into the parking lot.

"This is going to be bad," DiNozzo warned wishing he could find a bed to hide under.

Gibbs turned off the engine and took Tony's hand, raising it to his lips. DiNozzo heard exclamation from beyond the car but ignored them. "Very good, Tony," Jethro encouraged as his fingers brushed along Tony's jawline. "I know you're scared but it's just you and I here... and in there. Remember that."

"I'll try," Tony promised as he gathered himself. "Let's go."

 

The two women, who were time-delayed versions of each other, were stiff and silent as Tony and Jethro walked past them. The two men didn't touch but walked in perfect step and close enough to each other to be at least good friends of long standing. There was no one in the lobby but Tony could hear shouting from the great room. Briefly Gibbs took and squeezed his hand then opened the door an ushered Tony in.

The DiNozzo clan was not large. In fact most of the fifty or so people there were his mother's side of the family. His father had had a brother but he died in Viet Nam and all of Tony's grandparents, even the one who like him in spite of everything, were gone. The room was filled with ordinary, mismatched tables and chairs. The walls were of the same paneling he remembered as a kid. The flooring was commercial carpeting except a smaller area in front of a small stage where linoleum was put down so people could dance. To the right Tony noticed a few pans of food and some cake along with a beer keg near another table with soda. Nothing fancy. Just space where people could spend a few hours talking, remembering...

Of course no one was remembering... or talking. As one they became silent and turned their heads in his direction. Encouraged by Jethro's presence by his side Tony met their gazes, ready for the fallout.

"Hey kid! Glad you and Mr. Gibbs could make it!" His brother stepped away from where he had been surrounded by a few people and ambled towards him. Tina had a smirk on her face as she walked beside him.

"Hey," Tony ventured as he felt his cheeks tingle. It was hard enough explaining to his brother why Anna would be a hysterical mess, now he had to actually face Bryan. "Um... fireworks already begin?" he said in a near whisper.

Bryan patted him on the shoulder. "Only just warming up, bro," he said with a smile, though his eyes reflected other emotions. He turned his attention to Gibbs. "So you two had good talk... that's good." He stuck a hand out. "He's talked about you a lot. I'm glad we're finally face-to-face, Mr. Gibbs."

"Jethro," Gibbs corrected as he shook hands, his eyes wandering between the man and woman. "To both of you."

"I'm Tina," Tony's sister-in-law stuck her hand out then giggled as Gibbs took it in both of his and laid a chivalrous kiss upon it. "Tony... you've got a perfect gentleman here."

Still embarrassed Tony shrugged as he wondered how much redder his face could get. "Only to the ladies," he quipped then closed his eyes as he realized what he said.

Both Bryan and Tina laughed. "Not everyone who can put my little brother off guard like that, Jethro," Bryan remarked. "You must be something special."

Tony opened his eyes and glanced up at his lover. Gibbs was regarding him with a speculative gleam that made Tony's groin twitch. "Um... yeah... he is."

"Well good!" Bryan's tone changed. "There's some comfort food on the buffet and beer. We'll be waiting for you two back at the table."

"Thanks," Gibbs said when Tony didn't answer right away. "Come on."

Aware of many eyes on him but refusing to give into the urge to see who was where he followed his boss to the food table. To humor his friend he took a little of this and that. Then accepted the plastic glass filled with beer. As they walked to his brother's table he could hear the low conversations, the slight disagreements. When Bryan got married it was like this, especially when his brother made very clear who was going to be his Best Man. At seventeen it was a frightening event made tolerable by his brother's silent protection. By then he had been living with Bryan and Tina's full time for a little over a year and had gained some confidence in himself. Now, at thirty-two, this kind of thing was no longer frightening, only deeply hurtful every time it happened.

"I can't believe you're letting him... them... sit with you!" a woman's voice broke the near silence, his cousin. "It was okay for him to go to the funeral... his mother after all... even if-- you know."

Tony tried to do as his brother and sister-in-law were doing... as Gibbs was doing... eat as if nothing were being said. He knew what was happening. It was a battle of wills, a game of "who-blinks-first". Tony moved his fork around, fascinated by how well his brother and lover were already in sync on the matter.

"It's better if you move the food from the plate to your mouth, DiNozzo."

Gibbs quiet voice startled him. He shrugged. "If I eat I'll throw up," he warned truthfully.

A hand came into his line of vision and patted his forearm. "It's going to be okay, Tony. Honest. But we're not backing down."

"You see? His mother's hardly cold in her grave and he shows his true colors!"

His father. Tony tensed but refused to look up. Gibbs and Bryan continued eating. Tina shifted her chair closer to him.

"Bryan, I know you're trying to make a point here," his father continued in an understanding tone. "I know you've tried to defend him but how can you do it now... when he's like..."

Bryan looked up over Tony's shoulder. "Like what, Dad? Don't know what you're talking about. By the way this is Mr. Gibbs. Mr. Gibbs, our father... Robert DiNozzo."

 

On cue Gibbs put his fork down, wiped his mouth on a napkin and stood to face the man he had seen approach out of the corner of his eye. The elder DiNozzo was not as tall as his older son but was big framed. In his early seventies he was still a strong physical presence. Jethro Gibbs decided to greet him as if this were a casual family picnic. "Sir," he said as he held out his hand.

Mr. DiNozzo stared at him then the hand as if both were infected with a loathsome disease. "Don't touch me!" His dark eyes raked over the NCIS agent. "So Tony has been spending his time with you for the past couple of years? Been keeping him well? Because I haven't heard he was working--"

Gibbs frowned. Tony and his brother had kept his employment a secret from the rest of his family? That was interesting. Well, it would be set straight now. "Sir, my name is Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs... of the Naval Crime Investigative Services."

"Boss, don't!" Tony hissed as he gripped Jethro's arm. Then he closed his eyes muttered a curse as if he had said something wrong. Tina put a hand on Tony's shoulder and whispered to him. Bryan merely watched, his expression absolutely neutral, his stance calmly attentive. Gibbs suddenly wondered if he should be recruiting the older DiNozzo for NCIS.

"Boss? He *works* for you?" A hardness sparked within Mr. DiNozzo's eyes as his gaze moved to Bryan. "You knew?"

"Yes." Bryan met his father's gaze without hesitation. "I found out what you've been doing and I wasn't going to have it happen again."

_What has he been doing?_ Gibbs mentally changed gears as he reassessed Tony's father. "Your son is a Special Agent with NCIS, sir."

"Special Agent? You're kidding." Robert DiNozzo cast his eyes down to rest on the back of his son's head. "His father was a pervert... just goes to show it runs in the genes."

Tony was on his feet and moving so quickly Gibbs barely managed to put himself between the two men as his lover advanced, hatred burning in his hazel eyes. "Tony--"

"Did you know that, Special Agent Gibbs?" his father went on, obviously enjoying agitating his younger son. "He's not my son... his father attacked my wife, tainted her with--"

"I already know, Mr. DiNozzo," Gibbs said as a dangerous calm flushed through him; the kind of calm that came when he drew his weapon, knowing he would have to kill. He saw Tony's eyes moisten and barely contained his own rage. Without facing the elder DiNozzo he continued. "And you're the one who's done the tainting... you and your wife. This is Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, a highly respected law enforcement officer with more intelligence than any of you, including myself. He is talented, loyal, resourceful, kind and very human in his approach to his work." He hesitated then brushed his fingers over Tony's jaw line, relieved when his lover's expression softened in response. "He is also my partner."

"Partner?" Mr. DiNozzo snorted. "Fags working for our government... but not for long. I'll find out who to talk to and make sure they know about this."

"No!"

Gibbs found himself thrust aside, heard a collective cry from those around him then the smashing of something next to him. Between an overturned table and chair, Tony had his father on the floor. The older man's arm was expertly twisted behind his back as the younger agent's knee was pressed onto the elder DiNozzo's back. Mr. DiNozzo's face was red, but with rage or exertion he couldn't tell. Bryan had stepped close, his expression undecided. Shock clearly shone on the faces of the other people in the room. Some started forward but stopped as Bryan stepped forward.

"Tony, let him up," Bryan ordered before Gibbs could. "It's not worth it."

Tony ignored him, pressing further into his father's back. The older man grunted but said nothing. Tony sneered as he leaned closer. "I want something made very clear... Daddy. My name is Anthony DiNozzo... not Shells! As far as anyone will ever be concerned I'm your son! Bryan is my brother. And Gibbs is my partner in all that you imagine it means! You think you can do to me what you've done all my life... send letters, make phone calls... force me to change jobs when it got too uncomfortable? Newsflash, Dad! I will resign tomorrow and do or say whatever I have to in order to make sure my friend and partner is safe!" He pulled back a little when his father moaned in a way that indicted real pain. "This is it! No more! The next thing I want to know about you is the date of your death!"

Gibbs couldn't have been prouder of his lover. Watching the young man's face he knew what the words had cost him. They would deal with that later. He glanced at Bryan who gave him a nervous look, making clear how unique Tony's actions towards their father was. Gibbs gave the older brother a reassuring looked then bent down and held out his hand to Tony. "Come on. Time to go."

Tony immediately released his father and took Gibbs' hand in order to get to his feet. Tony's father groaned as he turned over and carefully stood up. Bryan nor anyone else in the room, Gibbs noted, moved to help. A quick glance told him that Mr. DiNozzo was not really hurt; that in spite of his open rage, Tony had restrained his father like a professional. Bryan faced the others in the room with an odd look on his face.

"Tony's right, everyone. No more." He looked back at his wife who nodded, her expression sad. "We're leaving. Funeral's over... reception's over as far as I'm concerned but you're all welcome to stay. My treat." He reached back and brought Tony up beside him. "Take a good look. This is probably the last you'll see of us, unless you die... then it'll depend." His dark eyes fell on his father. "That includes you, Dad. Don't call me. Don't call my children. I don't want to hear from you."

"Bryan..." Mr. DiNozzo was on his feet, rubbing his bruised arm and wrist. Gibbs felt brief sympathy as he watched the older man age before his eyes. Robert DiNozzo had lost his wife and now would lose something even more precious. 

Bryan DiNozzo held up a hand. "Crossed the line, Dad. Crossed the line. Tina and I discussed this after Aunt Vera came to... visit."

"I did what was right!" an older woman Gibbs assume was "Aunt Vera" called out, her stance not nearly as shocked or upset as Mr. DiNozzo's. "You're going to hell and taking your children with you!"

Bryan's expression fell. He met his father's eyes. "Goodbye, Dad."

Mr. DiNozzo opened his mouth to say something then stopped, his posture straightened as he regained his composure. "I'm sorry, son."

"So am I, Dad." He put an arm around Tony whose face lacked much expression of any kind. One last hurt. Gibbs sighed inwardly as his mind turned over the many things that were going to have be done over the next few days. 

"Coming, Jethro?" Bryan said.

Gibbs nodded towards him. "Go ahead... just need a moment."

Bryan studied him then grunted and pulled Tony along when the younger man hesitated. Tina flanked him on the other side as they walked out.

Gibbs gave a good, sharp look at the rest of Tony's family. It was a shame. He reached into his pocket and took out one of his business cards, the ones he left for witnesses and so forth, and wrote a name and number then held it out to Mr. DiNozzo who took it without resistance. "That is my card," he said precisely. "On the back is the name and the direct line of my supervisor. Call anytime you want." He held the older man's gaze. "Call Tony... send a letter to his home... so much as breathe in the same city and you'll hear from me. We clear?"

Mr. DiNozzo turned away from him without acknowledgement. But Gibbs saw the fear in his eyes. That was enough. He turned and left, making a mental note to call Tom at home and tell him... nearly everything. It wouldn't matter, so long as it was kept quiet... so long as there was a separation of work and play. Gibbs knew he could do it and was confident Tony could as well. It would take some adjustment, some compromise but they would be all right. Director Tom Morrow's only point of irritation would be to have to "officially" listen to Mr. DiNozzo's ravings then "officially" investigate it. Gibbs shrugged. Couldn't be helped now.

His sole concern was for Tony DiNozzo. Gibbs left the building and walked up to where Tony and his family were gathered in the parking lot. Family. Gibbs took a deep breath as he prepared himself. It was a life-altering moment, gaining family. But as Tony looked up and smiled at him and Bryan and his wife looked at him expectantly he realized it might be a good thing.

They went to a diner and ate a good meal, talking about this and that. They went to Bryan's home where Gibbs met Tony's niece and nephew as DiNozzo packed. Young Tony was a bright child, insightful. Gibbs liked him immediately. And Briana... Tony called her 'Jumper' which Gibbs thought fit her as she flew into his lover's arms. She was round like her mother with dark hair and hazel eyes that danced with a light that gave Gibbs pause as his eyes moved briefly from the little girl to her uncle, imagining he could see a hint of something that was Tony in her sparkling personality. But of course it couldn't be... or perhaps it was Tony's mother's side coming through. However, all speculation came to a crashing halt as he took the child from Tony as she insisted on coming into his arms. None of it mattered.

Soon enough he and Tony were on the road, driving back towards Gibbs' home. He called Ducky on the way and assured him all was well. Told him to let the others know. Then he turned off his phone. He had an emergency beeper if absolutely needed. At first they spoke about Little Tony and Briana and about Bryan and his business. But soon the conversation faded and Tony fell silent, staring out the passenger window. Gibbs let the quiet settle around them. Tony seemed to need it and Gibbs needed to think.

But as they crossed state lines, Tony shifted and sighed. "You know, Jethro," he said suddenly, his voice hesitant in using his supervisor's given name. "Until I was about four it was okay. I mean, they did their best. But then I started kindergarten. People knew... about my mother... some of the nosier ones did the math. Only a few kids were allowed to play with me... but they didn't want to. I was a koodie from day one... and it only got worse... for everyone."

Gibbs' hand wandered then found and gripped Tony's, disturbed to find it cold. "I'm sorry about your father. You handled yourself very well... like the man I hired."

Tony's fingers flexed but his attention remained on the passing road. "I could always feel... you know... that it was leading to this. I just didn't know Bryan was thinking about it too." A shuddering breath filled the car's interior. "I'll be okay, boss."

Jethro smiled. Some habits died hard. "I'm sure you will be. But I want to help as much as you'll let me." He didn't want to push but he wanted to make clear he was here to stay, would do any reasonable thing Tony requested. 

"I don't know what I need, Jethro." Tony laughed. "Maybe time to get used to calling you Jethro? I like 'boss' better. I mean... not in a weird way--"

Gibbs ruthless kept himself from smiling as he could feel the younger man's embarrassment as DiNozzo made the connection in a more intimate way. It was endearing and, frankly, arousing. "Tony. Listen very carefully to me," he began as he turned off the exit and onto the main road that would lead to his home. They would be there in less than five minutes. "I'd like you to stay with me tonight... for as long as you want. This is very new to you and in a way it's new for me too. But we'll be okay... all right?"

He could hear the deep swallow beside him. He turned down a side street then into a parking lot. McDonalds. They needed food to bring home with them. Tony didn't respond to his question but simply ordered what he wanted, smiling a little when Gibbs made a big gesture of picking up the check.

"Don't overdo, boss," Tony said as he took the food on his lap. "Work yourself up to being a cheap date."

Gibbs did it before he realized what he was doing as he swatted Tony on the back of the head. In reaction, almost an apology his hand rested on the back of DiNozzo's neck. Tony's eyes turned on him but instead of the irritation or annoyance he expected Gibbs found his lover's eyes had become almost green from arousal. Lips had moistened. Skin had flushed. Instead of exiting Gibbs pulled into a parking space and leaned forward, capturing the moment in a kiss, sliding his tongue in as Tony's lips parted. 

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" There was a knock on the driver's side window. "You fags need to take it to a hotel room! There's kids here!"

Tony gasped as if realizing just as Gibbs stole one more peck before turning toward the source of his irritation. A young man stood expectantly outside the window. His stance was neither aggressive nor threatening... just righteously indignant. And after a second, Gibbs had to agree. Some displays needed to be more private, gay or straight. He smiled at the man and started the car, making a clear show of letting his hand caress over Tony's cheek as he drove off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end for this. There may yet be a sequel... have parts of it backed up on hard drive... somewhere...
> 
> Comments welcome.

Tony had been at Gibbs' house dozens of times, had even stayed over a night or two when they were working a heavy case and found he was too tied to drive home. He had come here four days ago, after he and Gibbs... Jethro... had...

"Your burger's getting cold, DiNozzo."

Tony sighed as he picked up the beers he promised to get from the refrigerator and brought them in. Gibbs was sitting on the couch, fast food spread out on the coffee table. Ruthlessly holding down both fear and adolescent-like arousal he put a smile on his face and walked over, handing his boss... lover his bottle then settling down next to him, hyper-aware of the lack of space between them. Gibbs had made clear his intentions, his desire and Tony wanted it... had prepared for it even when he thought it was impossible. He had kissed Billy. They had made out, even did hand jobs with each other but nothing more intimate. So Tony looked at some porn sights… watched an episode or two of OZ. But even that didn't really prepare him for what might happen now. Tony felt inadequate.

"I told you, Tony. You think too hard."

Tony shrugged as he stared down at his food. He ordered out of habit but he really wasn't hungry. He wasn't sure what he was except emotionally exhausted and physically hypersensitive. He flinched as a hand gently touched his shoulder.

"Hey, Tony. Relax. Nothing has to happen. I promise."

Gibbs' words were delivered with quiet firmness. He glanced at the older man, working up a grin as he saw the sincere concern in the deep blue eyes. "I feel pretty stupid right now." He played with the fries, still undecided about his appetite. "I shouldn't be teasing you like this."

Gibbs sigh. Then the other man's hand picked up one of his fries and held it in front of Tony's face. "Take it," Gibbs ordered in his best command voice. 

Tony smirked and reached out--

"With your mouth," Gibbs amended, his voice growing husky as he softy smacked Tony's hand away.

An instant arousal surrounded Tony's groin, drying his mouth. Jethro's gaze was teasing and seductive. DiNozzo realized this was the point of no return. He was already Gibbs lover but this would make it real in every way both he and the older man had hinted at. Maintaining control over his nerves he took the fry from Gibbs fingers. It was nearly cold but it didn't matter. That wasn't the point.  
Tony took a second fry, as greased fingers again found excuse to wipe over his lips, he saw passion ignite in Gibbs' eyes. By the fifth fry Tony tasted the tip of the proffered finger. He watched Gibbs, encouraged when the older man grunted and shifted. When he opened his mouth for the next morsel he was surprised to simply taste Gibbs' fingers.

"Lick it, Tony," Jethro ordered, his voice unsteady. "Come on," he coaxed when Tony hesitated.

DiNozzo cleared his throat and shifted also as the crotch of his pants grew heavy. _I'm game,_ he decided as he stuck out his tongue and tasted cooking grease, salt and... Gibbs. As Jethro's finger gently stroked into Tony's mouth, he accepted the invasion and closed his eyes, imagining something more desirable teasing the roof of his mouth, wondering if giving Gibbs a blowjob would be this easy or if he would do it right...

"God, Tony... you're doing great," Gibbs whispered seductively, his breath wafting over DiNozzo's face, smelling gently of beer and onions. "Suck it," he ordered.

Tony groaned as he obeyed, leaning back as Gibbs' warmth pressed against him. His hand wandered into Gibbs' hair, the other held onto Gibbs' shoulder. 

"Damn, DiNozzo!" Gibbs muttered, his free hand combing through Tony's hair, pressing the back of his head tenderly, moving his finger in and out of the younger man's mouth. "Damn! You sure you haven't done this?"

Surprised, Tony pulled back as his emotions whirled and skidded in reaction to the comment. "No... I--" Did Gibbs think he was lying? Was it going to make a difference? 

"Tony."

Bravely, Tony looked up. Gibbs' gaze was penetrating, causing shivers to race down DiNozzo's spine. "Part of me is scared shitless," he admitted. "Part of me is so fucking hard I can't stand it!"

"Hmmm..." Gibbs softly brushed his lips over Tony's, a tongue peeking out to tease as he drew back. "I want to make love to you, Tony. I know this is new for you... I was just teasing." He stole another dry kiss. "I might try to set the tone but you can stop me anytime and we'll do something else or nothing at all. I promise."

Okay. Tony leaned forward, initiating the next kiss. Strong arms came around him, more experienced lips finished the connection, teasing and tasting. Jethro's hands worked under DiNozzo's. Catching on, Tony did the same, his fingers exploring the older man's musculature. Time faded as kiss and touch became more intimate, as both men groaned in pleasure.

Then reality returned as Gibbs pulled back. Tony resisted. This was so good… so perfect. He was so hard…

"Wait a second, Tony," Jethro ordered quietly.

Tony stared at him, disappointed and uncertain. He was going to ask if something was wrong but Gibbs seemed well aroused. Then what—

"We need a shower." Gibbs pulled away further, revealing a half buttoned shirt and some redness around his neck. Tony felt his cheeks flush as he realized he'd put those marks there.

"Together?" he ventured

Jethro's lips curved softly. Now both hands were held out to Tony. "Come on," he urged.

More confident, Tony realized he was willing to go with the flow and took Jethro's hands. He was easily pulled to his feet. Gibbs' released his hand. His calloused fingertips brushed over Tony's chest through the opening in the shirt. "Together is the only way this relationship is going to go, Tony." His eyes flashed with barely controlled passion. He took Tony's hand and tugged, leading him up the stairs and into a new life...


End file.
